Going in a general direction, but with less confidence than a teenager.
You read the title. What is even going on with my brain?
I spent most of September planning for October. It’s definitely my favorite month of the year. Sure the vibes are great but what really makes it my favorite is the feeling of new beginnings.
My first child was born in October, it was deep in the pandemic, I was excited and also scared. I’d have my sweet 16th with a 2 month old & I wasn’t sure what was in store for me as I started to be able to do more things with the new privileges 16 year olds get.
I feel like I’m in the exact same spot I was then. Sure I have a lot more wisdom & skills but here I am again with a young baby (and two toddlers), a milestone age & a feeling of not knowing what comes after this.
Honestly the best year of my life in terms of security was at age 16. There was so much clarity I accured in that year. I’ve been trying to chase that confidence ever sense. I’m turning 20 soon, and I know I’ll be having one more child, possibly homeschooling but what else? I’ve toyed with a few ideas but the one I’ve been thinking about the most is becoming a lactation consultant.
As much as I’d love to help moms and babies in the delivery room, I cannot handle the trauma if anything were to happen to anyone. I can’t fill from an empty cup. I think a lactation consultant is a good middle ground. I’ll be going back to school soon with some special plans to hopefully get me out asap after my multi year break.
If I’m honest though it’s a bit dehumanizing to have to fib to be taken seriously in school. Unless you claim you’re gonna make money yourself they’ll just throw out your application and tell you that staying home with your kids isn’t worth their accessibility. I put there vaguely some nursing goals but I’m honestly never planning on doing any intensive schooling. My state can kick rocks for all I care. If they really wanted me to pursue higher education they should have let me skip grades when they had the chance. So it’s on them.
On a less serious note, I did make a fall bucket list and I’ve been ticking off a few things. I’ll do another mini post about it sometime soon. One good thing about getting older is how much more we get out. While we still get looks we’ve been getting much more comfortable going out as a family and couple. It’s everything I could have ever dreamed of and I wish I could tell my past self how great things would get with time.