video editing, studying, and feeling alive
Hi guys long time no see!
If I'm gonna be totally honest with you all... I've been too busy filming and editing videos to make time to blog. Look, on it's own that's not a lot but I have a public channel for studying, a private channel for family stuff, and that's on top of language learning and just, exploring the world ya know?
But today I got a text message from another blog writer essentially THREATENING ME to make a post so HERE YOU GO.
This year has been one hell of a ride, on one hand I want to be a bit dramatic and say it's had some of the lowest lows and highest highs.... that's until I remember the late 2010's and then I thank God for my worst days that I'm having now haha.
Where else do I even begin. I suppose I can tell you everything that happened since I've been gone! Yeah let's go out for coffee together and have a little chitchat.
So I'm now level 3 in dreaming spanish, I started Japanese like I said I was going to but my summer plans went DOWN THE DRAIN. Doing a mix of intense Japanese study and ASATT is... yeah no sorry I could not do it. But there are attempts for me to get to doing 8 hour study sessions in a day using pomodoro so I can still take care of the family. What's nice about that plan is that on perfect days I have from 3pm onwards to do whatever I want.
I've been looking into some volunteer positions it might be a good use of my time. As you know I'm already volunteering at home by letter writing but a friend of mine told me there's a program where I can teach older people how to read. That sounds so heartwarming to me and is also a great learning experience. I'll let you know how that progresses!
School is going AMAZING I've been sticking to my class plan and getting really good grades. I'm talking mostly A's and B's for literally one class.
I've been developing more friendships on and offline. I've met SO MANY Spanish-Japanese speakers and you have no idea how much joy it brings me to have people to share my Spanish-Japanese puns with. I've been getting speaking practice in and making MAJOR progress in both. And in real life I've had such amazing experiences with strangers young and old. Sharing music,local businesses, inviting people to gatherings at the park where we talk about life lessons, meeting up with other moms too. It feels like the world is back to how it should be somehow.
I've been GETTING OUT OF THE HOUSE. My husband works a ton in the summer and I've been feeling a lot better physically. I think I mentioned in another post that workouts had to take a backseat because I had lost a ton of weight and was getting super sick. I went to see my doctor because I was super worried something deeper and more serious was going on. Turns out I had REALLY BAD stomach acid, I've had it so long that it did not feel like acid anymore just intense nausea. Which makes sense I did have a lot of that when I was a kid. Once I got that under control I was back to normal again. But anyways, gaining that weight back allowed me to leave the city by myself for the first time. This is a major development because this frees his time from taking me to doctors appointments and also allows me to start meeting with new people. (Language meetups I BEG).
(I'm also totally not gonna be living at this boba icecream place with this new found ability... totally not)
This could also help me out when I need a mentor in the future depending on the path I want to take to become a lactation consultant. And also when I want to volunteer with some mom focused groups and be a voice outside my home town for young moms! If you can't tell I'm pumped haha.
As for video editing I'm having so much fun doing that especially on my private channel where I'm the only viewer. Sometimes I turn my chores list into a grand adventure, sometimes I talk about games I'm playing, and most of the time I'm trying to make things look really pretty.
As for my silly little head as I said, there have been some highs and lows but honestly the lows are literally me being an incredibly sentimental and pushover person. Outside of that though I've started to really enjoy not being such a people pleaser not to sound cringe but.... This has been a slow process. But being selective with the people I spend time with has been a game changer. I don't take things personally anymore because well... I literally don't have the brain-space for it anymore. I've smashed so many words into my head that if someone were to yell at me to my face I'd just start translating it and then I'd triple check my grammar. Which in turn made all of the lows go away. Instead of allowing other people to tell me where I'm gonna be and when. I simply tell them that I'm busy. Or that I don't want to hang out because time is not an apology. I can't believe I was stressing myself over such silly things.
For example....
I've had quite a few people in recent years (and recently in a group chat) ask me what my aspirations are. I always found it to be an odd question because it's always in relation to me being "just a mom". I know it's not a genuine question and it's meant to be some sort of attack that goes under the radar and makes the other person feel good about themselves. But I think now I'm going to start asking them what their aspirations are. Because the only people asking me that question are people who are only on the internet creating absolutely nothing. Media consumption isn't an aspiration. Your job is just as shallow as you see my motherhood. But at least I have hobbies outside of my dreams as well. A love of learning and the love of helping others is an aspiration.
Responses from my friends on their aspirations (love you guys HAH)
- I strive to be gay and to take 30 breaths a second (we love you being alive bro)
- I strive to be a good friend, a good father, have 37 children (BRO WHAT)
- I'm just here man (mood)
I think I'm doing alright! ....
That covers everything, a one for one retelling and a "deeper" topic I'll leave you to think about. See you again next month?
-As always ILY <3